Fire under the 138th street bridge, nyc, September 20, 2010
The challenges began on Sunday, when my 12 year old golden retriever, Bear, who is my baby, did not want to eat, started drinking huge amounts of water, and was having trouble getting up and down. He had developed a "hot spot" on his hind leg, which is a sort of skin infection commonly found on goldens, so at first I thought he was just uncomfortable from it. We decided against bringing him to the veterinary emergency clinic (of course these things always happen on Sundays). Monday I had my next appointment at SK, so I called the vet's office before leaving for the train. They felt he should be seen, and so the main person in my life (I will call him "E" henceforth), who was not taking me to the city so he could work, was now going to have to get our dog to the vet in the afternoon.
And this was how the challenging day began. E got me off to the train station, a friend would be meeting me on the train at a stop a little further south. I was so grateful for the company, and while not the best way to spend the day, for the time I would get to spend with her. We chatted away as we caught up on things and I explained about my appointment, how it was with the surgeon who specializes in glandular skin cancers. I think we got a little further than Tarrytown station when we started hearing somewhat garbled announcements over the PA, something about a fire and not being able to stop at 125th street station, at least that's how it sounded. Well, we were not planning on getting off at 125th street, we were headed right into Grand Central, so that didn't apply to us, did it? We continued to chat. Finally, a different conductor made an announcement...and it became clear...EVERYONE was going to have to exit the train at either Marble Avenue or Yankee Stadium....WAIT...what did he say? Did he say what we think he said? We were going to have to WHAT? Exiting the train before it reached Grand Central had only happened to me once before...back in the 80's (now I'm dating myself) when I worked in advertising and had to exit at 125th street (again for a fire, on the tracks somewhere). I remember that was not fun at all. This time they were directing us to head to the subway, and take this subway train or that, a list of confusing numbers...and before we knew it we were getting off the train, with Yankee Stadium in the distance, part of a moving sea of people on their cell phones calling to change appointments and say things like "I'm going to be stuck in the city for a long time". For me it was a very long walk to the subway, it may not have been for some others, but when you've got terrible asthma and limited lung capacity in your right lung, along with being out of shape from having limited movement over the past two years for various reasons, it was a long walk. Along with stairs, lots of stairs everywhere. Of course the subway station was a chaotic scene. The woman in the token booth directed people from the train to head right through the gate, and told us which trains to take to get to 53rd street and third avenue, where I needed to go for my appointment. We would need two trains...one to get us toward Manhattan, then a change to a local that would get us to 51st street. I am not familiar with the subway system, I used it rarely even when working in Manhattan for many years. I preferred to stay above ground whenever possible, hailing a cab when necessary. I was so grateful that my friend had come along to keep me company, we managed this "detour" together, complete with a poor soul pleading for help, anything, some change, a little leftover water in a water bottle, part of a sandwich, help to get to a shelter so he could clean up. It was heartbreaking. "I don't steal, I don't do drugs, I don't drink...I lost my job and have nowhere to go, I don't hurt anybody"...he looked exhausted. I can still hear him, he was a young man and looked so sincere. Am I a bad person because I couldn't even imagine letting go of the pole I had a death grip on as the train careened around turns and bounced us around, let alone try to take out my wallet to give him a couple of dollars? And taking my wallet out, in all places, the subway? I hope not.
We got off at the 51st street station, (again, steps, steps and stairways everywhere) and it took us a minute to figure out which way to walk to get to 3rd avenue. It turned out we weren't too far away. My appointment time was at 2:15, and by some miracle, that was exactly when we walked into the front door of the building.
I met an amazing group of doctors, and was there for quite some time. The surgeon, I'll call him "Dr. C", was so compassionate, and very positive. He told me I've kept people like him in the medical field far too busy for far too long, and that they were going to take care of this, figure it out and get it done. He said it was completely do-able, and that I would be making lots of new friends at SK, one doctor smarter than the next, which I have already seen for myself. It turns out, as usual, I'm a conundrum...I either have a breast cancer with certain markers of a glandular skin cancer, or a glandular skin cancer that managed to arrange itself on my breast, with certain breast cancer markers. Either way quite rare, and I will most probably be needing a difficult surgery, complete with moving some skin around as my radiated skin will not be the best for healing. Because of that, I will be seeing a very talented plastic surgeon on Monday, I will be adding him to my team.
So to keep everyone up to date on my appointment schedule, this Friday I'm having all the test type appointments (MRI, breast imaging, EKG), Monday will be the plastic surgeon, and Tuesday the breast surgeon. Down the road a bit is my appointment with the head and neck specialist, so we can eventually remove this ticking time bomb of a thyroid. I have a nodule there, and because of the tremendous amount of radiation I've received to this area, I'm at extremely high risk for thyroid cancer. I've tried to avoid surgery in the past, but now my feeling is, get it out now, I'm not giving cancer any more chances in this body than it already has.
We headed back to Grand Central. Luckily the waiting area at SK has free wi-fi and we were able to determine that service on metro-north was back on schedule. What a relief that we weren't going to have to make our way back through the subway system to get home.
I had called E to check on Bear...he was not doing any better and was going to leave soon for the vet.
My friend and I quickly picked up sushi rolls and edamame for the train ride home...I was starting to feel light-headed, I realized all I had eaten all day was a kashi granola bar (my favorite is the honey almond flax). By the skin of our teeth we caught the 5:31 express, and we had a sushi picnic on the train. I was exhausted, and made sure to put food in my stomach before I called E to find out what was going on with Bear. Upsetting news would make it impossible to eat.
When the signal was better and I had food in my stomach, I called...and found that he was still sitting in the waiting room at the animal hospital! So many pet emergencies that day, he was there for nearly two hours before Bear was even seen. A couple of calls later, and it was apparent that he would not be able to pick me up at the train station at 7pm, he would still be at the vet. Again, luckily I was with a dear, helpful and amazing friend...whose husband picked us up at her stop and whisked me to the animal hospital, E, and Bear.
They had run a gauntlet of tests...thankfully his liver and kidney functions are good, and x-rays showed only the possibility of something suspicious in his stomach (it could be folded over from not eating). They had shaved way too much of his hind leg, because of the hot spot. After the day that I had it would have been easy to cry over the loss of his gorgeous golden hind feathers. But I kept it together and paid the $500 plus bill, with the possibility of bringing him back the next day for more in-depth images, and left with antibiotics and wound cleanser. We were able to get him to eat with some coaxing when we got home, which was after eight o'clock. We had been so worried about a blockage somewhere in his system, but he gave us a nice poop yesterday and we were able to rule that out. With the excitement that ensued you would have thought we hit the lottery!
To say Monday was challenging is really an understatement...I don't think either of us has fully recovered from it, especially still not knowing what is going on with Bear. After talking with the vet over the phone, we decided to wait and watch another day, it could possibly be a "bug" of some sort...we are so thankful for this because we are so completely depleted, beyond description. I have another trip to SK on Friday and I have to put myself together for that.
