Hello lovelies! Here is something I never thought I would say...Kajal's Malas has been sold out! In the past couple of weeks since I re-opened, sweet dear previous customers, and some newbies, dropped by and so graciously supported my shop's re-opening with a purchase (or two!), culminating in the last mala (one of my favorites, the yellow jade and garnet) shipping off today to lovely and sweet Niki (thank you again Niki!).
Tomorrow I will be attempting to create a 27 bead pocket mala, a request from a dear friend to give as a gift. It will be a good way to see if I will be able to begin knotting again. I am a little concerned as my hands are a little shaky, I think from the pain medication (hopefully I will be off it very soon). In any case I hope I am able to focus in the way that I feel I need to in order to create these sacred pieces (many of you know just how picky I am about my knots, and the kind of energy that goes into them and the mala as a whole).
So I am hoping to fill the shop up again with many more malas very soon!
I hope everyone has an absolutely wonderful holiday season, and the happiest of new years! Thank you all for your generous love and support, kindness and compassion through such a difficult time. I am so blessed to be on the road to recovery, and 2011 is so full of promise.
So much love to you all, kajal
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Starting to feel more like me...and other good (really good) news
So I am just going to come right out and say it...my oncologist is not recommending chemotherapy! Of course this has been hanging over me since my diagnosis...whether chemotherapy would be necessary for me, even after the surgery. During the surgery a sample of the tumor is sent away for an "oncotype test" which is a very special test. It's complicated but lets just say that it comes up with a number that represents the possibility of the cancer returning. I am so relieved, grateful, blessed and excited to report that my number fell in the lower area of the midline, so the recommendation is for me to take a drug called Arimidex for five years, instead of a full course of chemotherapy. In my case the benefits of chemotherapy do not outweigh it's risks. The Arimidex is a drug that lowers my estrogen, since my tumor was very estrogen sensitive, so they will be monitoring me for the short and long-term side effects, but it will protect my other breast and help prevent a recurrence. It is apparently being used now in place of Tamoxifen as studies show it to have better results. I have been on it for about a week now and so far I have not experienced the joint pain that affects many...so far I have just felt like I have been PMS'ing for the past day or two, feeling emotional for no apparent reason (and snippy too, you can ask Eric about that). Uncomfortable but certainly tolerable compared to chemotherapy. So amazing to me...I will not have to endure the devastating effects of chemotherapy for a second time in my life.
Yesterday was my last day of home nursing care. I had the loveliest nurse ever, sweet, kind and such an excellent, professional nurse. As I mentioned, I've been feeling hormonal so I got a bit emotional as we said goodbye. She helped me through such a difficult, challenging time. I will always be so grateful to her. But the good news is...I don't need home nursing care anymore!
So I am starting to feel more like me every day. A feeling that I would have never thought possible the day after my surgery in the ICU and for many days after that. I wake up every day and feel the most immense gratitude to just be in my bedroom, in my apartment, and to be free of cancer, and working on being free of the infection in my sternum. So, so grateful. At some point soon I will be on my yoga mat and I am so dearly looking forward to that.
The infection in my sternum...I don't think I've written about that. My excellent thoracic surgeon removed areas of my sternum that had been affected by the radiation I had as a child and so were damaged and prone to infection. Of course when they tested these samples, bacteria popped up all over the place. So while the infected, damaged areas were removed, in order to make sure it doesn't return I will be on a heavy duty antibiotic called Levaquin for about six months. I take it at night so I can eat during the day, since it does make me a little nauseous. Again, a small price to pay to be free of this awful infection that had affected my skin and made me unable to move very much for the past two years. I thought I would have to live this way for the rest of my days. I can't begin to say what this means, to have my sternum free of this infection and my skin to be healed. To say I will have a better quality of life is such an understatement. I will have a life!
So even though I can't drive yet (still on pain medicine), I think it's time to re-open my sweet little mala shop. Eric doesn't mind driving me to the post office if I sell any so I can ship (I asked him, which he thought was funny. I told him that he's not my chauffeur, and he said yes he is. I said okay but I don't want to take that for granted!). I really don't even know how many malas were left when I had to put the shop on inactive, I know it's not very many. But it will be a start and hopefully I will feel up to knotting again soon.
Yesterday was my last day of home nursing care. I had the loveliest nurse ever, sweet, kind and such an excellent, professional nurse. As I mentioned, I've been feeling hormonal so I got a bit emotional as we said goodbye. She helped me through such a difficult, challenging time. I will always be so grateful to her. But the good news is...I don't need home nursing care anymore!
So I am starting to feel more like me every day. A feeling that I would have never thought possible the day after my surgery in the ICU and for many days after that. I wake up every day and feel the most immense gratitude to just be in my bedroom, in my apartment, and to be free of cancer, and working on being free of the infection in my sternum. So, so grateful. At some point soon I will be on my yoga mat and I am so dearly looking forward to that.
The infection in my sternum...I don't think I've written about that. My excellent thoracic surgeon removed areas of my sternum that had been affected by the radiation I had as a child and so were damaged and prone to infection. Of course when they tested these samples, bacteria popped up all over the place. So while the infected, damaged areas were removed, in order to make sure it doesn't return I will be on a heavy duty antibiotic called Levaquin for about six months. I take it at night so I can eat during the day, since it does make me a little nauseous. Again, a small price to pay to be free of this awful infection that had affected my skin and made me unable to move very much for the past two years. I thought I would have to live this way for the rest of my days. I can't begin to say what this means, to have my sternum free of this infection and my skin to be healed. To say I will have a better quality of life is such an understatement. I will have a life!
So even though I can't drive yet (still on pain medicine), I think it's time to re-open my sweet little mala shop. Eric doesn't mind driving me to the post office if I sell any so I can ship (I asked him, which he thought was funny. I told him that he's not my chauffeur, and he said yes he is. I said okay but I don't want to take that for granted!). I really don't even know how many malas were left when I had to put the shop on inactive, I know it's not very many. But it will be a start and hopefully I will feel up to knotting again soon.
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