So I am just going to come right out and say it...my oncologist is not recommending chemotherapy! Of course this has been hanging over me since my diagnosis...whether chemotherapy would be necessary for me, even after the surgery. During the surgery a sample of the tumor is sent away for an "oncotype test" which is a very special test. It's complicated but lets just say that it comes up with a number that represents the possibility of the cancer returning. I am so relieved, grateful, blessed and excited to report that my number fell in the lower area of the midline, so the recommendation is for me to take a drug called Arimidex for five years, instead of a full course of chemotherapy. In my case the benefits of chemotherapy do not outweigh it's risks. The Arimidex is a drug that lowers my estrogen, since my tumor was very estrogen sensitive, so they will be monitoring me for the short and long-term side effects, but it will protect my other breast and help prevent a recurrence. It is apparently being used now in place of Tamoxifen as studies show it to have better results. I have been on it for about a week now and so far I have not experienced the joint pain that affects many...so far I have just felt like I have been PMS'ing for the past day or two, feeling emotional for no apparent reason (and snippy too, you can ask Eric about that). Uncomfortable but certainly tolerable compared to chemotherapy. So amazing to me...I will not have to endure the devastating effects of chemotherapy for a second time in my life.
Yesterday was my last day of home nursing care. I had the loveliest nurse ever, sweet, kind and such an excellent, professional nurse. As I mentioned, I've been feeling hormonal so I got a bit emotional as we said goodbye. She helped me through such a difficult, challenging time. I will always be so grateful to her. But the good news is...I don't need home nursing care anymore!
So I am starting to feel more like me every day. A feeling that I would have never thought possible the day after my surgery in the ICU and for many days after that. I wake up every day and feel the most immense gratitude to just be in my bedroom, in my apartment, and to be free of cancer, and working on being free of the infection in my sternum. So, so grateful. At some point soon I will be on my yoga mat and I am so dearly looking forward to that.
The infection in my sternum...I don't think I've written about that. My excellent thoracic surgeon removed areas of my sternum that had been affected by the radiation I had as a child and so were damaged and prone to infection. Of course when they tested these samples, bacteria popped up all over the place. So while the infected, damaged areas were removed, in order to make sure it doesn't return I will be on a heavy duty antibiotic called Levaquin for about six months. I take it at night so I can eat during the day, since it does make me a little nauseous. Again, a small price to pay to be free of this awful infection that had affected my skin and made me unable to move very much for the past two years. I thought I would have to live this way for the rest of my days. I can't begin to say what this means, to have my sternum free of this infection and my skin to be healed. To say I will have a better quality of life is such an understatement. I will have a life!
So even though I can't drive yet (still on pain medicine), I think it's time to re-open my sweet little mala shop. Eric doesn't mind driving me to the post office if I sell any so I can ship (I asked him, which he thought was funny. I told him that he's not my chauffeur, and he said yes he is. I said okay but I don't want to take that for granted!). I really don't even know how many malas were left when I had to put the shop on inactive, I know it's not very many. But it will be a start and hopefully I will feel up to knotting again soon.
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